The danger of romantic thinking.

After growing up on a steady diet of fairy tales and romance novels most women usually make the mistake of thinking romantically about a man the instant they meet him, sometimes even before they meet him. For instance, a friend tells you that she has met a guy that would be absolutely perfect for you. He has a good job, is well read, handsome and she'll introduce you to him at a function that weekend. Do you get really exited and immediately start fantasizing about when the wedding will be, the hilarious speech that will be made about how you met, how many kids you'll  have e.t.c.? Or when out on a date, instead of listening to what your date is saying or watching his behaviour are you are thinking about how your children will look like, where you'll live, the things you can change about him to mkae him even more perfect? If so you need to STOP.

Premature fantasies only set you up for major disappointment as you tend to put the man on a pedestal and not see him for what he really is. Additionally you cause yourself unnecessary pain in case the date doesn't materialise into a relationship because you have invested so much of your emotions in a man that may not be right for you after all. In the technique of the love affair Ms Langley Moore against suggests some things that you can do to prevent yourself from too much romanticism.

The first is that you should not turn your back on your friends and interests just because you have a new man. Many women make this mistake and turn their new love interest into the centre of their world. This may backfire as it could make you boring to the man as you are losing the things that made you attractive to him in the first place. Additionally you crowd him out by always spending time together, give him some space and allow him to miss you. Seeing how active and interesting your life is will make you more interesting to him. Also in the event that the relationship does not work at least you still have your friends and hobbies to keep you busy.

Also when you meet a handsome new man don't convince yourself prematurely that you've met your soul mate and no other man will make you feel as good as he does. This creates a desperation and fear within you that he is the ultimate and you cannot afford to lose this and he will sense your desperation and get turned off. Also if the relationship ends you put yourself through unnecessary grief having convinced yourself that no one will ever love you like he did.

Something else she suggests is that to preserve your dignity don't put in writing overly romantic feelings as they will look ridiculous if the love affair comes to an end. I am guilty of this, I recently was gong through my sent items in my yahoo mail and came across a poem I had written to one of my ex's and I would die of embarrassment if he was to show that email to any our mutual friends. Send him fliratious texts or emails to tease him but nothing overly lovey dovey.

And the most successful tip to stop over romanticising a man? Date more than one man. This keeps your focus away from one man only and allows you to see that there are many fishes in the see so you won't act desperately trying to hold on to one man.

So that's that for today... let me go get some needed beauty sleep.

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