Grown Up African

After growing up on a steady diet of fairy tales and romance novels most women usually make the mistake of thinking romantically about a man the instant they meet him, sometimes even before they meet him. For instance, a friend tells you that she has met a guy that would be absolutely perfect for you. He has a good job, is well read, handsome and she'll introduce you to him at a function that weekend. Do you get really exited and immediately start fantasizing about when the wedding will be, the hilarious speech that will be made about how you met, how many kids you'll  have e.t.c.? Or when out on a date, instead of listening to what your date is saying or watching his behaviour are you are thinking about how your children will look like, where you'll live, the things you can change about him to mkae him even more perfect? If so you need to STOP. Premature fantasies only set you up for major disappointment as you tend to put the man on a pedestal and not see him for what

Everyone thinks their mum is the wisest woman that ever lived and I am no exception. I usually feel like I need a tape recorder to capture all the advice she gives me so that I can have records to pass on to my daughter and granddaughters. So I have been a bit worried about making my career break in Kenya after hearing a lot about tribalism how hard it is to get a job nowadays especially  if you are not from the 'right' tribe and so I asked my mum how she has survived tribalism or racism in her past and her email back as usual inspired me. "We just do our work in an excellent way as our Creator has given us his talent. We are confident that he has breathed the spirit into us and so he dwells in us. Abiding by the same excellence, no man's designs will derail you.Simply live courageously and thrive! for He is with you always" This is the same message as Isaiah 54:17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise agains

I have just completed my graduate degree and have now been released to the weird and wonderful world of clambering to the top of the corporate ladder. Up until now I can't say I have been a roaring success in the workplace and I can come up with a number of reasons for that but probably my biggest weakness is my inability to network and build mutually beneficial relationships (you scratch my back and all that). But I've just been reading the classic "Nice girls don't get the corner office" by Lois Frenkel and discovered another major mistake I have been making is not correctly branding and marketing myself. Just like a company has an image and brand that it needs to market and maintain we are the brand managers of our own career's. Here are some steps you can take to build your brand: Make a list of 3 to 5 things that bring you the most satisfaction at work. For example for me these are: Coaching and developing employees, problem solving, completing proj

In chapter two of the Technique of the Love Affair the author argues the importance to a woman of having many suitors, admirers or dates. Quite controversial I agree but her reasoning makes perfect sense to me. First of all having many suitors gives a woman more skills and experience in dealing with men. Very few women end up marrying their first love and living happily ever after. Most of us made disastrous mistakes with that first man but we learn and get progressively better at dealing with men the more relationships we have (hopefully). So the more men we date the more we know how to handle them. Secondly it makes a woman more desirable to the man she seeks. Men generally do not want things that other men don't want and this is especially true when it comes to women. The more proof he sees that you are sought after by other men the more he wants you. A woman with many admirers also cares more about her appearance as she is constantly on dates and wants to be seen at her be

Much as I love everything to do with relationships and making them work I really can't claim to be an expert on them. That's why I've decided to have a regular study of the most important books written when it comes to building successful relationships. This way I can improve my relationship skills while sharing what I learn. The first book I'm looking at is "The Technique of the Love Affair" by Doris Langley Moore. It was first published in 1928 so you can imagine it's ideas might be very ol fashioned. However many modern classics like Men are from Mars and The Rules do have some of the same ideas this book has. Its therefore quite fitting actually to start from the beginning and study old advice first as sometime these turn out to be the best ideas as they have withstood the test of time. So chapter one of the book introduces the main characters, Cypria the teacher and Saccharisa the student. Cypria tells her student that in romantic relationships w

A male friend just surprised me with a box of gourmet chocolates at my doorstep on his way home from work. He didn't ask to see me, just dropped them off and called me as he drove off to alert me to pick them up. It was such a simple and easy thing to do but went such a long way as hours later I am still smiling. Why don't men come up with such simple ideas more often? This same wonderful man once had a pizza delivered to my door when I mentioned in passing that I was so tired after a busy day at work thus prevnting me from having to cook. So sweet! Do you have any stories from when men just wowed you with their actions? Let me know and I can add them on. That way we can give any man that's reading some tips and ideas on how to make the ladies in their lives smile.